What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What smell will you never forget?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

My girlfriend told me that she wants to move in with me. I have my own apartment and I like my peace and quiet, but I also love her. We've been together for a year now. What should I do?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

TEXT:

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why is it easy to make money in the USA?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Do narcissists love their children?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

How was cancer treatment different in the US and the UK?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why are Christians quick to say that there are a lot the gay Christians that exist NOW and use that to pretend that Christianity is just loving to gays when the last 40 years of my life they been horrible?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”